6. Interview Anxiety

There's something so nerve wracking about interviews.
I have one coming up, and I feel so much dread even though I already have a job.

I think it's just diving into the unknown. You don't really know what they're going to ask.
What they're going to think. What they're REALLY looking for.
And try as you might, you can't really change who YOU are.
You can change how much you know. You can change how much you can do.
But sometimes you might just not be a culture fit, because you can't really be anyone else but you.

And you know what?
That's just fine.

5. Thinking About Picking Up Rust

I've been writing C++ as a job for a couple of years now. It's a neat language. C is cool as well.
But, there's always that .38 snubnose aimed right at your foot.
Sure, they put some implements to help prevent you from shooting yourself, but removing the gun entirely would be nice.

There's a lot of naysayers that disparage Rust. There's a lot of naysayers for a lot of things.
All the more reason to check it out.
Maybe I will turn into a Rustacean in the coming years. I don't really have a use case for it.

But until then, I'm going to be writing in C++.
Which reminds me. I have a nullpointer to go reference. See you later.

4. Contact! Contact!!!

Eye contact! Why?! It's too much!

It's always been a challenge for me. For how long must I stare into your orbs? Can I take a break? If I do will you take offense?
There are some situations where it's no problem. For example, when I'm at work.
I can do that. I will quite literally see eye-to-eye with you in an effort to contribute towards the success of a project.

But take me out of the office and stick me in a social setting?
No way!
I'll look at everything else. The floor, the TVs, the table, etc, etc, etc.

Maybe because I AM weird. But I knew that already.
That actually reminds me. I need to do an eye exam...

3. Funny Observations 1/?

Supermarkets are an amazing place to me.
No, not because of the abundance of everything - which is great, but because you see so many different TYPES people.

I don't mean race or class or something like that.
I mean you might see someone grab BRAND X and you kinda think, "Huh... so this guys a BRAND X kinda guy?".
The intrusive thoughts make me want to walk up and ask about their inclination for BRAND X. Why not BRAND Y?
But that'd make me a weirdo... so I don't.

Sometime you see crazy baskets. Like 30 cases of soda in one basket getting wheeled to the checkout.
Heck, sometimes my baskets are outrageous. I might have 2 lbs of frozen shrimp, a pint of icecream, nearly expired clearance bread, and a pair of underwear in a basket.
Funny right? Probably not.

But no one really cares. Except for me I suppose.
But... yeah... prices are crazy these days.

2. The Modern Life

What's life really about?

We kinda just go to work and then we go home. Maybe some hobbies and a vacation here and there.

Is that really it?

I figured we'd all do something together - like a global effort or something.
I don't know, build a cool monument? A pyramid?
We have the internet, we can really organize something like that.
Just all agree on a place where we can plop down a new pyramid.

But we have work tomorrow. So... probably not in the cards.

1. Former Worrier

For a good chunk of my life, I've been a worrier.

Worried about grades.
Worried about getting a job.
Worried about earning enough money for my family.
Worried about my progress in my hobbies.
Worried worried worried...

Of course, you reap what you sow.
Sleepless nights. A gaunt and gloomy appearance. A weird sense of paranoia and dread.
These things compound until you just can't take it anymore.

But... one day, I just stopped worrying. Maybe because my brain fully developed?
I don't know.
I kinda just live now.
It's nice.